Day 118

 Late tonight, I fried a piece of bacon.  I wanted to fry some onion, but discovered I didn't have any.  I then fried a Hummel red hot in the bacon grease and put the Trader Joe’s garlic onion sauce on top.  It wasn’t bad.  But it wasn't joyous either.  I am jonesing to go to a real hot dog place.

Tonight I rewatched the Youtube video about the three guys who eat three different hot dogs in New York City, from the $3 hot dog at Gray's papaya to a $39 hot dog at the Modern, a restaurant attached to the Museum of Modern Art.  They all loved the $39 mini clavier hot dogs.  It made me want to go to both places.

Day 118.

End of the World

 I read this somewhere or heard it.  What if the apocalypse is already here? If we are living the end of the world instead of fearing the arrival of the end of the world?  Instead of fretting about AI and political wars and real wars and affordability, why not just enjoy each each day now? Enjoy each day and eat hot dogs.

Hot Dog 56 Gram Size

 Today I bought the original Coney Island beef Franks in natural casings, the dogs they use for the hot dog eating contest.  Turns out they are bigger than the dogs I have been practicing with.  56 grams versus the 43 gram size I had been eating.

Where I did one of the 43s in 34 seconds, this one took me a full 60 seconds.  I did make a mistake eating a hot hot dog.  If I had let it cool down a bit, I might have been able to eat it faster.  I have a lot of work to do if I am going to get in contest shape.

Also, eating a hot dog as fast as you can is not really a good way to enjoy the dog.  I was thinking how much more I would have enjoyed a dog with onions and bacon.

Glizzy

What the F is a “Glizzy?”

I know now that a “Glizzy” is Gen X rap slang for a hot dog and that its use has become very widespread.

They call it a “glizzy” because glizzy is slang for a Glock handgun and the Glock’s magazine  supposedly looks like a hot dog.  

How that translated into such widespread use of the term by young people is beyond me?  Evidently the name got a boost when a female entrant into the Coney Island hot dog eating contest called herself “Glizzy Lizzy.”

Today the Merriam-Webster dictionary even defines “glizzy” as “a frankfurter…aka a hot dog.”

It further says “the phallic aspects of a pistol led to gkizzy being used for both hot dogs and…penises.”

People can call hot dogs what they want.  I’m going to keep calling them hot dogs.

 

Best Hot Dogs in New England

 A You tube video picks the 12 best hot dog places in New England.  In reverse order:

The countdown:

12. Doogie's – Newington, Connecticut

11. Gilley's – Portsmouth, New Hampshire

10. Beansie's Bus – Burlington, Vermont

9. Simco's on the Bridge – Mattapan, Boston, Massachusetts

8. Wein O Rama – Cranston, Rhode Island

7. Super Duper Weenie – Fairfield, Connecticut

6. Sullivan's – Castle Island, South Boston, Massachusetts

5. Rawley's Drive In – Fairfield, Connecticut

4. Blackie's – Cheshire, Connecticut

3. Olneyville New York System – Providence, Rhode Island

2. Simones' Hot Dog Stand – Lewiston, Maine

1, Flo's Hot Dogs – Cape Neddick, Maine

I have only been to Blackie's and Doogies.

Blackie's, Doogie's and Super Duper Weenie are also on the New England Yankee magazine best of New England list.

I need to take a road trip.

AI don't eat Red Hots.

 Day 116.  Had a red hot for the 4th night in a row.  Still tasting good, particularly with the Trader Joe onion and garlic sauce on it.  Two more left in the package.

Today I had an issue with my printer at work which led me to calling the Xerox service line and doing battle with their AI bots.  Very frustrating.  The bot told me to turn off my printer and wait 2 minutes before turning it back on.  After 30 seconds, it asked me what my printer screen was saying.  I said you told me to wait 2 minutes.  Sorry, take your time, it said, then asked again 30 seconds later.  It ended up hanging up on me for lack of response.  I called back, got the same bot, but she did not remember our conversation.  We went back and forth.  I ended up yelling at it and hanging up.  I called a third time, got a different bot who finally connected me to a real person.

Last week I watched a cool video about the best 12 hot dog places in New England.  Turns out it was made by AI.  

I have found out many of the people in the reels I watch are bots, too.  Today there was a funny one where two softball mothers who are actually boys complain about Ai.  One mother says to the other, "When is AI going to take over/"  The other mother looks wryly at the camera.

I used AI for the voice over in the Hot dog video I made.  But the video was 100% human made for better or worse.

AI don't eat red hots.  I do. AI's loss.

McDog and Burger King Grilled Hot Dogs

 Several months ago I wrote letters to the Presidents/CEOs of McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s suggesting they sell hot dogs.  I suggested they buy some hot dog rollers like they have at 7-11 and other gas stations so the staff could just quickly grab a dog put it in a bun and hand it over to the customer.  Everyone loves hot dogs, I told them. I asked for nothing in return except a gift certificate so I could buy one of their hot dogs along with a medium fry and Coke if they chose to act on my idea.

I felt sure they would write back.  I waited each day for the mailman to bring word like I used to wait as a boy for the mailman to bring the novelties like x-ray glasses or whoopee cushions I bought from the ads in the backs of comic books.  

Nothing.  No reply.  I deliberately wrote by US mail and only included my name and home address.  No email.  I wanted to hear in the old fashioned way.  I even went to the post office to buy stamps as I did not have any.  Maybe these big corporations no longer have stamps either.

Today I came across this article that said Tom Curtis the head of Burger King was talking phone calls and texts with customer suggestions.  I took him up on his offer.  First I texted, but then I got a response saying he no longer read texts, but I could still call and leave a voice mail.  So I did, but then my wife said I forgot to leave my phone number so I called back with my message.  “I’m the guy who just called saying you should sell charbroiled hot dogs.  Forgot to leave my number, here it is...”

We’ll see if I hear anything back.  I am sort of doubtful.  Inspired, I filled in customer suggestion forms online for both McDonalds and Wendy's.

In the meantime I have been investigating why these three fast food giants don’t sell hot dogs.  It turns out that all three have at one time or another tried.  McDonald’s had the McDog.  Burger King ran ads for their hot dogs featuring Snoop DO Double G Dog.  Wendy’s sold all beef Chicago style dogs.  

Why did they stop selling them?

Easy, they weren’t making money.

I have read a fair number of reasons what they weren’t making money.  Low profit margins.  Hot dogs are cheap and the only way to make the amount of money needed to cover their all around business costs (building staff, advertising) would be to jack the prices up beyond what people would deem reasonable.  How do you complete with a $1.50 Costco dog and the $2.49 7-11 Big Bite dog?

Other reasons include people think of hot dogs as cookout food or hot dog stand food, food you eat walking down the street.  Not so much as a sit down meal.  To each his own, I guess.

I still think they could make money.  Sell two smallish all-beef dogs, in soft warm buns, throw in some packets of ketchup, mustard and relish on request.  Maybe even offer chili dogs as an option.

I’d buy the dogs.   I think others would too.

Interesting fact.  McDonalds started out selling hot dogs before they became McDonalds.  Their founder Rey Kroc ended up banning them saying you never knew what was in a hot dog and so that would be bad for their reputation.

***

Update.  No sooner did I write to McDonalds, then I got a form email back:

 Hello Peter, 

Thank you for taking time to contact McDonald’s Customer Care regarding our menu offerings.  

 Our team works hard to keep the Trending Now page on McDonalds.com up to date to answer any questions you might have about our limited time offers today and in the future.  

McDonald’s is constantly gathering and reviewing customer feedback and menu preferences.  Some items are no longer being requested by our customers as often as other items, so they are being discontinued. Feel free to ask your local McDonald’s about their menu as some items may vary by location. 

If you have further questions, please don’t hesitate to reply to this email or give us a call at 1-800-BIG-MACS. We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again soon under the Golden Arches. 

 Sincerely,  

McDonald’s Customer Care

So I replied to this email with the following:

Yes, thanks for responding.  Will you ever bring the McDog back.  I think it would be a big hit.  You could get a hot dog roller like they have at gas station convince stores so it would be quick to serve.  People love hot dogs.  They would go great either way your delicious fries.

Thanks for considering this!

Best

We'll see if I got another form letter back.

Here's what they wrote today:

Hi Peter,

Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald's. We truly appreciate customer feedback and welcome this opportunity to share some information with you.

We're delighted to hear that you enjoy eating McDonald's McDog. It's important to know, however, that the McDog not considered part of McDonald's national core menu. Rather, this product is what we call an "optional" product. This means that each individual McDonald's franchise owner can choose whether or not to carry this item on their menu. That is why you might find this product at one McDonald's but not at another. Optional menu items at McDonald's include such products as sausage burritos, chocolate and twist ice cream cones, soup, biscuits and gravy, among other items.

We hope to have the opportunity of serving you again soon under the Golden Arches.

 

Sincerely,

Rachell

McDonald’s Customer Care